The Scorpion

Kris found a scorpion in the boy’s closet this weekend. I laid the smack down with the flat of my sandal, obviously. Although I am told they are but a painful nuisance, I have read how “some information indicates that [scorpions] from North America are less venomous than their relatives from Central and South America.” Of course, of course. I’ve managed to identify this one as of the Centruroides gracillis variety, known as the Slenderbrown or the Florida Bark Scorpion in the U.S., and in Cuba, the Alacran prieto (dusky scorpion), which I tend to prefer. In any case, the worst I’ve seen in Michigan is a wood spider, and in Ohio, the freaky jumping crickets that took over our garage. And then there were the cicadas. But scorpions? No. If I find one in my bed I’m on the first flight to Houston, I promise.