Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Mama Kristin

Every Saturday we take Mallory and Cristian to Hanna’s Hope to play with the children, and so that Kristin can make her “rounds” to check on things. This past Saturday, I left Mal and Cristian in Casa 5 (where the oldest kids stay) and tagged along with her so that I could see all the other children, which I hadn’t yet had the opportunity to do.

Watching Kristin walk from room to room, child to child, calling their lit up faces each by name, and hearing them respond, “Mama! Mama!” moved me. I was reminded of why we’re here. In addition to her most practical sense of life, and her ability to get the things done that need it most, Kristin brings a spirit of love and compassion to these houses and these kids. They are all of them beautiful, and were so happy to see us last Saturday. They called me “Papa” too, and I counted it a privilege. Though they don’t realize it, they are rendering a service of love to me many times more than I could to them. One is easily changed sitting on the floor mixing it up with a bunch of toddlers who act as if you’ve just brought in chocolate cake and presents, when in reality, all you have are your open arms, your broken Spanish, and eyes to tell them they are unduly precious.

It is overwhelming to be in a room full of kids starved for familial love. I am reminded of my own journey, and how blessed I have been to be loved by my own family, and my wife’s family too, and by so many friends along the way. Being away from “home” creates a space for reflecting on those things that sustain us most. And without those familiar things and people that surround your life and provide a sense of belonging, even comfort, anymore present, you can't help but think of their importance. You can’t help but miss them. I keep thinking of the poet Thomas McGrath’s lines from his Letters to Tomasito,

How could I have come so far?
(And always on such dark trails!)
I must have traveled by the light
Shining from the faces of those I have loved.

That light shining on those faces is what I think we need as much as we need anything. To wear a face of light for these kids at Hanna’s Hope is a strange and wonderful thing, a blessing. You’ve got to see it to believe it, like they say. Even a tired face, a face full of its own life with its own problems, like my own, can light up the humblest room.

Sunday, September 26, 2004

La Casa en la Cuidad Capital

It’s taken all of three weeks to fill these cavernous rooms with our lives. Having purchased some cheap furniture, stove, refridgerator, beds, etc., and having slept here long enough to fall asleep and dream and wake up properly, without that displaced feeling you get from hotel rooms or the in-laws, etc., it’s as good as home.


(Front view)


(Side view)


(La sala)

We did manage to celebrate Cristian’s birthday a few weeks ago albeit on a cardboard box and without chairs. He was king for a night. Since then he sings, “Happy Birthday To Me” in the cutest voice you’ve ever heard. (Click here to listen)


(Feliz Cumpleanos a Cristian!)

A Good Day

Finally, after considerable inactivity, two young bucks speaking the fastest Spanish I’ve heard yet came rambling up our drive in their little van to install my cable Internet. Their gear: an enormous ladder, wooden cable spool, and a Zenith modem twice the size and weight of my computer—-what a sight! You should have seen the smile on my face.

I had to help the short one heave a stretch of cable line onto the roof to his partner, then supervised the endeavor as best as I knew how. In the end, it was up and running to my satisfaction.

That same morning—-it was a day to remember, believe me—-I drove home a white ’92 Volvo 240GL with only 128,000 kilometers, which is like a drive in the country in Volvo-speak. It’s easily three feet longer than our mini-van back in Cincinnati. A jewel.


(The Volvo & the little master)

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Expectations

All week I have grown over-bloated with doubt. There is so very little here you can count on. The only sure things I know of are the rain and the incomprehensible traffic. I have been waiting days to purchase my car and for a proper Internet connection. Every day there’s a new excuse, and never a good one. There is an alarming shortage on creativity in Guatemala in this department. Yesterday the cable company told me they couldn’t come to my house because of the rain. Since it rains every day here, I was speechless. I figure the sooner we lose our expectations on anything and anyone, the better life will get.

In Guatemala, the calendar, even time, is but a mere reference point at best, at worst, a boy’s toy watch that never worked.

Friday, September 17, 2004

First Weeks

*

Despite a rain delay in Dallas, we made it to Guatemala City in one piece Sunday night. Anibal, as promised, held an orange sign with my name on it in the waiting area just outside the airport. Fortunately, it was no trouble (in fact, it was almost too easy) getting thru immigration and acquiring our luggage. I bought Kristin black beans and bread at a food stand while our luggage was being loaded onto a van, then we packed ourselves in. The kids fell asleep almost immediately.

The drive to Antigua was strangely familiar. Much of it we remembered from a year and half ago—the thin twisting climb into the mountains, the pickup trucks with kids and young couples standing in their dusty beds, green road signs with names distant and strange to us. Antigua lay around a last bend in the road, just as I remembered. It was dark, so we couldn’t see the mountains or volcanoes I had promised Mallory.

Mario, the Director of Tecun Uman, the school we will spend two weeks studying Spanish at, met us out front of his school. He drove us to an apartment several blocks south of the central square, down Avenida 5, into a newer development. I was disappointed to be so far from the square, but the place seemed nice enough. As we got out of the van, we heard a piercing screech not far from where we stood, in the shadows. It sounded like someone had squeezed a large monkey. Mario explained it was the whistle of a security guard, blown periodically to scare off potential robbers. It wasn’t clear to me if the whistle was blown when a “potential” robber was seen, or just for good measure. Later that night, and the two nights since, I have heard the whistle several times, and so have put my hopes in the latter.

Our apartment is in a two story house and conjoined to seven other flats by a small, roofless central garden. The rooms are small, rustic, and dank. We have two bedrooms, a living area, bathroom, and smallish kitchen. The floor is red ceramic, the walls stucco and painted lightly orange and blue, with red brick archways over the kitchen entrance and a strange, square opening off the kitchen—again roofless—extending to the ground floor and to the open air above. A long sheet of plastic keeps the rain out, but not the noise from the tenants below. They have two kids, like us, and their noise is not unlike our own. Anyway, the kids like it. My favorite place is the roof which has a great view of Agua, one of three volcanoes looming over the city directly to the south, and green mountains in every other direction.



(the view from the roof of our apartment)


*

It’s Tuesday night, our third night here, and we have settled into a kind of rhythm. Notwithstanding the language barrier, which I am particularly frustrated by, the biggest challenge has been the family logistics of living twenty-five minutes by foot from our school, and in a much smaller place than our house in Cincinnati.

We began our classes today at Tecum Uman. I will be studying with maestro Victor on the roof of the school. Victor is a short, serious looking middle-aged man, and from what I can tell, an experienced teacher. He has a high-pitched laugh which he breaks into occassionally at the strangest times. I like him very much.

There is a tangerine and a papaya tree heavy with fruit growing up through the building. Like the great tight rope walker Philip Petit, when I see fruit, I want to juggle. I couldn’t get my mind off it all morning during our lesson. I mistook the unripe tangerines for limes, since they are nearly identical in appearance, until Victor corrected me. In any case, I mean to steal a few for tossing before the week’s up.

Notwithstanding Victor’s apparent prowess as a teacher, not to mention my eager mind, four hours with the maestro dispelled my hopes of picking up the language quickly.


(Victor and I)


(Mallory with one of her teachers)


(Kristin with Rosa, her maestra)


*

It’s no problem getting online in Antigua. I’ve been told there are roughly 40-something Internet cafes in the city, five or six of which I have visited already. We pass about 8 on our way to school. I spent the afternoon today in one of the more interesting cafés called the Funky Monkey, which I think is run by a young American, but I’m not sure. The sign in front dubs it the “coolest” Internet café in Antigua. “Cool,” in this case, refers to loud American music, smoking paraphernalia, and ashtrays. Still, I was shocked at how good it felt to hear “Sweet Child of Mine” playing on the hi-fi, and to be among smokers—surely the most congenial and generous folk on earth—was a comfort. You can get connected here for about fifty cents, or four quetzales, an hour, which isn’t too bad considering the connection is high-speed, and the people are generally friendly, though I haven’t found a shopkeeper yet that I can understand.


(the central square, Antigua)


*

Even in good shoes, the walk to the school is a bear (Tecun Uman is located about 3 blocks west of the central square). I need to remind myself that most folks who work in this city live in pueblos a good 45 minute walk from the city. I am far too used to the convenience of my car. There are more bicycles here than cars, by the way, and more “chicken buses” (public transportation) than bicycles, though walking is the norm. As a rule, all the cars are stolen.


(Avendia 5, Antigua)


*

Our seventh day in Antigua. All week I’ve smelled burning leaves and branches from unrecognizable trees—all being cleared for further development and burned. The laborers, the older ones anyway, look like photos from outdated Spanish textbooks dressed in their gray slacks, white camisas, and yellow straw hats with machetes strapped to their belts. Happily, the new homes going up in South Antigua look two hundred years old. From the roof of our place you can see enough of their inner gardens and exploding flower work to covet their wealthy lives within.

Were I to grow old here, I think my life expectancy would double if only for the day’s long yawning. There are no demands for rushing here. Like the poet Nicanor Parra’s Santiago, Chile, “the days are interminably long: several eternities in a day.”


(Kris and Mallory in front of Augua)


*

The guards are blowing their monkey whistles more fervently tonight. Either there are burglars about, or, more likely, they are tired of the crickets. Or maybe they’re just bored.

Today I watched a man fifty feet up a tree hack down limbs with a machete. I could not make out anything binding him to the tree for safety. He was risking his life, as far as I could tell, for an afternoon’s wages—which I would guess are roughly equal to a package of hot dogs.


*

Our last day in Antigua. In the rain season the days can’t decide how they want to come off. Any hour could bring rain. Temperatures move from cool to warm back to cool with no pattern whatsoever, which might explain in part why nobody wears shorts here. But the mornings are all the same. The sun rises early, the houses are quiet and colorful, the air lithe and lighter than any other time of day. The sky is generally blue with wisps of low clouds which prefer the volcano peaks, often hiding them from view.

Having found a casa in the capital city, we are attempting to move in today. We didn’t expect to find a place so spacious in Zona 10. It lies at the end of a cul de sac and just five minutes by foot to Hanna’s Hope where Kristin will be working. Through contact with a missionary here, we discovered Darvy, a local lifejacket. I pay Darvy $20 a day to take us around, translate, help me at the bank, etc.

I’ve discovered that most gringos down here—missionaries in particular—have a “guy.” Without a “guy,” you can’t hope to accomplish much. Darvy serves as a conduit to something resembling efficiency, a word more akin to fantasy here than in the States. Our livelihood rests on and with Darvy.

We leave Antigua without regret, needing a more permanent residence to call home. Antigua is so beautiful, but suffers from typifying too perfectly the Spanish colonial baroque a gringo is more apt to want to photograph than call home. Besides, there are more Europeans on the streets than locals, it seems, so that if it were not for the architecture (most of which appears on the verge of collapsing), and the now familiar shape of hills and volcanoes, one might easily forget where he is.

I made the mistake in our first week here of referring to Antigua as a city that perpetually yawns. Perhaps Time is drowsy in this altitude, and nods its great head from time to time at the impossible inefficiency of the place, but no, I have learned that Antigua is a city that walks—walks at all hours, walks to language schools (which may outnumber the Internet cafes), walks to work and back again, walks door to door with tortillas in wicker baskets, walks to the market and to the bus, walks home.


*

We left Antigua Saturday as we had found it two weeks before. Our new rented house in Guatemala City lies in Oakland at the end of 15th Avenida Finale down a little side street no larger than a driveway which, if it were any longer, would fall off into a barranco. There are few houses in the city, I’ve been told, this secluded. I’ve also been told seclusion makes us more suseptible to robbery. We’ll see. We do have a 12’ wall with coiled electrical barbed wire surrounding the house, so it has the feel of a compound. It is also conjoined to a sister house by a common wall, same architecture, and a man named Tony living there with his maid. Tony was born in France but spent most of his life in Guate. His first words to us, just over the wall and out of site, were: “Hey gringos,” in what sounded like a heavy New York accent.

The rooms of the house are huge, the ceiling close to 15’ in the upstairs master bedroom, and a shared kitchen, dining, and living room make up the downstairs, with double glass doors opening to a thin backyard garden. The place is almost embarrasing, I must say, especially since many people are referring to us as “missionaries” here and back home. We are here, in part, to love and serve the fatherless, or better, the family-less, which is another way of saying the homeless. And so I hope we can make of this place a home for more than just ourselves.